It is not that we want to run people over, and yet we often do as we are consumed by schedules and agendas, Jeremie Kubicek and Steve Cockram point out in 5 Gears. When someone feels the pressure of a deadline or fears the roar of a boss’s voice, it is natural to shift focus to alleviating the immediate concern rather than focus on our long-term relationships.
But this tends to steal, kill and destroy our presence to those we are closest to most of the time. People run over other people when they are not present or focused on the person or people they are with in the moment. This is where most influence is undermined as people get tired of getting run over. Eventually, people move away from those who are not present toward others who have more life and less drama. People don’t mean to run each other over, but the truth is that we can all have moments when we are in a different gear than the other person.
Our minds can easily get stuck in work mode or kid stories or random thoughts, and we can, unknowingly, run others over with our chatter and self-absorption. Whether it is speaking directly to us or ignoring the most obvious social hints, unawareness is pandemic. It usually gets worse in the office environment. Some leaders become different people the moment they walk into an office setting. For some, they shift into the “dominator” mode as they bark orders, forget about an employee’s birthday or send emails that would make their mother blush.
Do you have an intentional recharge zone or a routine you have disciplined yourself to follow that helps you downshift to rest, refuel and renew your energy? When you are not recharged or fully rested, it is almost impossible to be present with someone else, let alone add value to his or her life. When you are charged up and rested well, then you have the ability to impact those around you, which will simultaneously impact your influence.
Recharging does not happen the same way for everyone, though, and it is important to note that your natural personality and wiring will influence how you need to recharge. Introverts recharge internally, like a battery pack. They need to plug into an energy source directly and recharge on their own from within. Extroverts, on the other hand, are like solar panels: Their recharge happens from external power sources like ideas or people or experiences. Some recharge sources for introverts are sleeping, reading novels or biographies; taking long runs or walks alone. Introverts are normally more disciplined with their personal time and take time to pursue individual hobbies like art, gardening, cooking, woodworking, etc. Some typical recharges for extroverts are time with a mentor, discussing ideas, being with people, going to a concert or movie, speaking, reading and exercise.
To learn more about how to
recharge your mind,
and other useful tips,
subscribe to our Executive Edge